The <that> tag in AIML can also be a pattern, in this case you would need to use a pattern if the previous response was a template.
<category>
<pattern>NO</pattern>
<that>DO YOU WANT TO DIE *</that>
<template>Okay, then let's talk this out.</template>
</category>
You can also use a response list for this instead, which lets you use "next", which is a better way to define a follow-up response.